After much has been said and done, I think I’ve finally come to my senses. It’s time to ground myself again and realize that not everything can be viewed from rose-colored lenses.
And well, while nothing has really prompted this decision, I just want to play it safe and not take the risk anymore. I guess I am no risk taker really. I’ve risked some lately and yet I have taken some of the back, and well the others, it hasn’t prospered yet. I know though that it still too soon to quit.
So as a resolution, I decided that I will just keep this thing in status quo. I will not make any more effort until thing have become clearer. I will probably just wait it out for some more time. No more dropped hints and sweet nothings; I will just keep it simple and coy.
I say this with very mixed feelings. On the one hand I have strong reasons to be happy for a development today. But it is with this development that has a caveat misery. Why are good news always stringed along with bad news? Is bad news really part of it, or are we cynics and paranoid asses that we inflict our own misery? This part is unclear to me, as always. I only want simplicity, but we really can’t have it.
Anyway, as I go through this I only think of one thing: self-preservation. It is important to still love yourself, even when you love yourself fully. I am only equipping myself with optimism and passion, but then I am going through this with vigilance.
I may never know what the future will bring me, but I know that if keep steadfast and vigilant, whether good or bad, I will win. I know that it will take more than this to really embattle me. I will just keep my chinky eyes open but react sparingly too.
Oh well. I think I have reasons to be happy din naman. Lots of reasons to continue believing. I’ve been on this road several times before and I managed to pull through. I will be okay. :P
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