After this

After that "private" post, I think I want to be nice and sweet again with my posts. I think I want to go back to my old self where I am jolly and sunny. I am, after all, still the best little boy in the world!

Naks.

Rollie needs a brain

Rollie (not his real name) is in need of a brain. He never stops annoying me. He just couldn't cease giving pointless directions. And he will never stop being brusque. Until today, I question the person who hired him and put him there. He's nothing but a beer belly with a brat of an attitude.

For donors, please contact me. I'm quite sure that he will not have any idea what to do with it.

Hehe.

Yes toYour Dreams

Have talent, will earn P1 Million!

Nowadays, sabi nila mabilis nang yumaman at sumikat, basta magpursige ka lang. Sabi nila, ang mga produkto ng mga star searches ay hindi tatagal at malalaos din. Biglang sikat, mas mabilis ang pagbagsak. At sabi nila, hindi na importante ngayon ang long-term planning. Dapat lang daw tayo mabuhay sa "the here and now". Sa panahon ng American Idol, Pinoy Dream Academy, Pinoy Pop Superstar at kung anu-ano pang talent searches, parang totoo nga. Mag-emote ka lang sa camera at mag-iiiyak, pwede ka ng manalo ng isang milyung piso. Para sa mga audience na tulad ko, napakabilis nga nitong "negosyong" ito. Gimik or isang chipipay na istratehiya lang ang kailangan mo para sumikat. Ganyan din ang iniisip ko. Aysus, que bilis.

Pero kahapon ko lang nalaman na hindi pala mabilis. Kahapon ang unang araw ng aming shoot para sa pinakabagong talent search ng GMA at ng Coke. Ito yung ride to fame. Malamang ay hindi nyo pa naririnig ito, o napanuod man lang sa TV dahil medyo manipis at late na kami umere. Pero abangan nyo na rin, sa August 5 na ang aming pilot. Sundays after SOP (papalit ito sa MOVE ni Billy Joe).

Isa itong talent search for the next total performer. Meaning kailangan may galing ka sa pagkanta, pagsayaw at pagsulat ng kanta. May 12 kaming mga finalists. Nung una, akala ko, malamang baka puro mga scouted talents ang makuha namin, pero to be fair, legitimate contestants ito dahil ni isa sa kanila ay walang experience sa ganito. Sabi ni AC ang program manager, ilang araw na rin daw nag-ri-rehearse ang mga bagets ng kanilang mga kanta at sayaw. So ang iniisip, dapat naman marunong at magaling na sila pagdating sa shoot... At dapat masanay na sila. Demanding nga. Dahil syempre isang milyon ang premyo. Dapat naman yata may makuha kami at magaling sila.

Magaling naman sila. Pero makikita mo ang kaba nila. Kahit ang pinka talented sa grupo ay madalas na nagkakamali. Nakailang takes din kami. Ang perfectionist na si Direk ay paulit-ulit na pinagagawa sa kanila ang kanilang production number. Makikita mong napapagod na ang iba sa kanila. Tanghaling tapat, naka jacket, todo make up, hair spray, sing and dance, high heels at chucks, malagkit na mga tao at sandamakmak na makina at ilaw, yan lang naman ang kailangan nilang harapin. Bawat pagkakamali kailangan ulitin. Bawat maling tiempo kailangang maisatama. Mahirap talaga. At bawat take todo-todo ang energy na ibinibigay nila. Said na, kumbaga.

Pati ang costume change, demand ng photographer sa mga magagandang poses, demand ng direktor sa magandang OBB acting, at pag-shuttle in between studio ng schedule sa pag-interview, styling, costume change at pag-ngiti, yan ang kanilang inaatupag. On the side< kailangan di nilang mag-rehearse. Malamang kung ako yun, baka hindi nako tumulak ng shooting ngayon. Matutulog nalang ako.

Pero yun nga. Ang mga bagets ngayon, go go talaga para lang masundan ang pangarap nila. Iba-iba ang kanilang mga pangrap, pero iisa ang pinatutunguhan, ito ang tuparin ang pangarap nilang makakanta, makasayaw at makasulat. Yan ang maging sikat sa mundo ng pagtatanghal. At kahit na anong pag-subok nila, kakayanin nila basta lang maisakatuparan ang mga pangarap. Sila ang mga bagets na umoo sa kanilang pangarap at gagawin ang lahat para mangyari ito. Suportahan natin sila sa kanilang mga pangarap.

Wag kalimutan: Coca-Cola's Ride to Fame will air August 5. Watch kayo!

PS: Ehem, may "cameo" appearance ako dito sa OBB. Sa sobrang cameo, hindi nyo ko makikita....

What's the deal?

I've turned sour from being sweet. I've turned cranky from being smooth and easy. I've turned sleepless from being a "masa".

I've lost (contact with) some friends.

I'm missing important family dates.

I'm getting sickly and pimply.

I'm getting less and less sleep.

My hairline is receding.

There must be a problem somewhere. It must be this thing that I've been doing for the last three years. It must be me. It must be this place.

PS: Playing on the background music now is Michael Buble's HOME. I think a tear fell. Sob.

This time

The 5th time will be last time. I promise.

Work-less week ends

Last monday I received the biggest BS of my life. In the powerpoint it said, "Weekends are not work days!"

Yeah right! I am here at work now, finishing crap I am not supposed to do in the first place. Guarding over a shoot that I feel is so passe. And looking at shitty stuff that are all pointless to begin with.

Last friday my phone delivered three bad news:

1. I got an SMS from someone telling me that he is very disappointed that I didn't deliver something I promised. It was a compilation of stuff that I've been doing. Gad, on top of every single load, i found myself ghost-writing for this person. And to think that he didn't give any direction. "Sabog" and messed up that he is, naturally, he expects someone else to do it for him.

2. I got another SMS that said "great news! Big devil agreed to send little imp in my behalf (to annoy you). You now have a partner!" In the first place they're not invited. What makes these devils think that I want to be with their company? Conceited freaks.

3. And the icing: "(shrieking like a little girl) where are my pointless materials!? I need them already! You can effing submit it on Monday! I need it now! What do you mean you haven't started anything yet?! I need it now! Now! Now! Now!" To oblivion my mind went. I just thought, what a ninny!? I just told you I don't have them, what part of I-DON'T HAVE THEM don't you get? I just said, "let me see what i can do"... read: I'm putting this at the back burner.

All three things just mean to say - you have to do three different things all at the same time! Sometimes I want to just feature my life in a reality TV, kind of like ED, and see how crappy-insulting my life has become.

The thing that's annoying is this: how can some people (not me) fall to the trap of work-less weekends!? Saturdays are practically Friday extensions.

Oh I know, because that (spineless) person never really did any real work anyway. This person is someone I just want to refer to as DORY> she forgets.

Oh, maybe, this person just forgot that I've never really had real long-lasting, energy-recuperating rest. And what I said "i needed challenge in my career" meant to this person as "I'm bored!" And this is the same person who said the magic words the other night! She must be high with Cocaine (or her anaesthesia).

Sometimes I really wonder if this person is holding office there just because they have no one to place there anymore? Or maybe they need to fill in the gaps with more asses?

Eitherway, I am still working tomorrow. Darn. Problem Unsolved. Weekend still in limbo.

blank

i have ten thousand things in my head now but i can't seem to organize it. I want to say everything. I want to write everything. I have so much angst.

But i can't seem to let it out.

Sigh.

It's 11PM now. I have officially worked 21 hours non-stop.

Maybe fatigue is getting to me.

I feel spent.

I feel it's not worth it.

Wanting

Why is it that people can never have enough?! Just when you think you finally had it then suddenly you realize that there's still something lacking. Is it really human to always crave, desire and want something and not be satisfied.

I've long asked for something. But when that something came, it didn't come as how i wanted it. For example

I guess it's really human to want something that you don't have.

messianic complex and adboard-able comments

What do you do when someone incompetent approaches and tells you, "oy, you should be happy that i'll be working with you!?**"

Give a blank stare.

If this person retorts with "bakit di kaya mukhang masaya**"... again give a blank stare. Just say you're busy.

These days, office work is fast becoming like Dilbert's office place. I am seeing more jerks and people with complexes. More important, people who think that they're the "it" people.

I remember tuloy this quotable quote "she loves working with me!" - it's very adboard-able.

What's next - I am here to save you!? Hmm, come to think of it I've heard that too.

** not the actual words.

I don't know what's wrong?

Honestly, in regard to what I've written in my other blog about stalking, I don't see why is it any wrong. It's not as if I really stalk the person like shamelessly stalking this person. It's just the thrill.

I think the fineline between what i did and how other people do it is that i announced it here. And that people can be malicious and add their own insinuations. As far as I'm concerned, it's not cheap and yucky. I think it's cute. I think being able to express your thoughts and being adventurous is far better than being uptight and hypocritical.

Tell me honestly now that you've never done this to anyone?!

Stalking can be very broad and narrow. Stalking by definition is deliberately following someone with selfish intentions in the end. My only selfish intention is to be-friend the person and nothing more. Don't you do that? or Didn't you ever do that? What's wrong with you? Are you just inggit?

What a weird conversation over at BU 2

Gen Wang: "Gusto ko muna umakyat para kumain"

Francis Chua: "Ha? Ayaw ko!"

Jho Ragus (yes, may 'H" sa name): "Ako nga umakyat ako, eh kaya lang puro creatives, bumaba nako!"

Gen Wang: "hoy, nagbayad ako. Umakyat kayo!"

Francis Chua: "Eh si Lot ba nag-share?!"

Lot Eligio: "Excuse me, nag-share ako, noh ("h" not mine)"

Gen Wang: "Dapat singilin mo si ER sa Monday!"

Lot Eligio: "Hah (again, "h" not mine)! may interest pa!"

Jho Ragus: (mutters something)

Lot Eligio: "Sana may water duon, uhaw na ko eh!"

Francis Chua: (Thinking to himself) "Well, nagkalat ang mga water dispensers dito! Di mo kailangan umakyat para uminom"

Cute in a single white female kind of way

Just about an hour ago, me and Lot did the unthinkable! No, we didn't get married or get engaged, we stalked someone. We don't look like the type who'd stalk someone but for today, it felt quite fun to just go around, take a risk and stalk someone. And we did that with gusto.

It all began with what i can call scenes from a "Close Up" TVC. You can vividly recall from these tvcs where a girl and a boy seems to elude each other always? And all you have is just a glimpse or a shadow of the other person. But as days go by, you see each other more often (because you've become more conscious of the presence). You smile, the other person smiles back but you don't have the confidence to talk to each other.

It seems that at moments like these, you don't necessarily need a "juicy". You need someone who will prod you and say "just go for it". Close up gives you the confidence to get up close and talk confidently. But for now, I'll need a good conversation piece. Since I use Colgate Total, it works just fine - I'm not worried of my breath.

Anyway, three chances already to say have gone and still we still haven't moved on from just catching a glimpse and stealing some smiles. We need more than that. Hence, Lot and I hatched a campy plan to just stalk the person. Feeling like sleuths, we went to the floor and looked aroung. Feigning interest, we even asked the guard where the cashier was.

First attempt was a flop. The person still hasn't gotten back from lunch break. Second chance was in order. 5:30PM is when they clock out. Maybe we should stalk and go down at 5:30 sa ML. Then wait. 30minutes have gone by and nothing happened.

Lesson we learned? Maybe we should try stalking earlier next time. 5:30 was way too late. For beginner sleuths like me and lot, we should come in prepared and early the next time.

This whole experience is cute, actually, in a single white female kind of way. Bwhaha!

Colourblind

Darius Colourblind Lyrics

Feelin' blue  When I'm trying to forget the feelin that I miss you  Feelin' Green  When the jelousy swells and it won't go away,  In dreams  Feelin' yellow  And confused inside  A little hazy but mellow  When I feel your eyes on me  Feelin fine  Sublime  When that smile of yours creeps into my mind  Oh oh  Nobody told me it feels so good  Nobody said you'd be so beautiful  Nobody warned me about your smile  You're the light, you're the light, when I close my eyes  I'm colourblind  You make me colourblind  Feelin red  When you spend nights out with your friends and not me instead  Feelin black  When I think about all of the things that I feel, I lack  Feelin jaded  When it's not gone right  All the colours have faded  Then I feel your eyes on me  Feelin fine  Sublime  When that smile of your creeps into my mind  Ohh  Nobody told me it feels so good  Nobody said you'd be so beautiful  Nobody warned me about your smile  You're the light, you're the light, when I close my eyes  I'm colourblind  You make me colourblind  Blinded by the light you shine  The colours fade completely  Blinded by you everytime  I feel your smile defeat me  I'm colourblind, I just cant deny, this feelin'  Nobody told me it feels so good  Nobody said you'd be so beautiful  Nobody warned me about your smile  You're the light, you're the light, when I close my eyes  I'm colourblind  Nobody told me it feels so good  Nobody said you'd be so beautiful  Nobody warned me about your smile  You're the light, you're the light, when I close my eyes  I'm colourblind  You're the light, when I close my eyes  You make me colourblind  You're the light, you're the light, when I close my eyes  You make me colourblind

being a kid again

While waiting today for FEMAR to finish my artworks, I tried accessing www.getzmo.com and play some arcade games. When you get to the site, there are some really interesting games there that will remind you of your childhood. Like for example, pacman, arkanoid, battle gear, contra, supermario and sonic. Among these, I am particularly excited about sonic and contra.

As a kid, I didn't own a Sega console. However, whenever I'd go to my cousin's house or some friend's house, I am able to play it anyway. Unfortunately, my Sonic skills didn't develop too much. I was more of a Rambo, Mario Brothers and Transylvania and Adventure Island kind of person. Anyway, now, I will be able to test my skills and try learning it again. I've been very rusty - even on my 4th attempt. Shucks.

I played a lot of Contra back then. I was a champion Contra player. But when I played it online parang I found it hard to play that again. Sayang.

But more importantly, what i found really interesting is the fact that these bring me back to childhood. It was fun being a kid. Carefree.

If you want to reminisce being a kid once again, or just a glimpse of what it feels like, visit the site. It will be fun.

PS: It's free. So play whole day!

Recognition is in order to Monix.

Die Hard 4.0

I've seen all the Die Hard movies but I've never really liked them. It's just one of those movies I watch and then forget about. I'm not a Die Hard fan, neither am I a fan of Bruce Willis.

When I saw the movie trailer, I was in complete awe. The scenes they chose were really nice! I particularly liked the scene where this flying car landed atop two cars and Bruce Willis was in between these cars. Galing! Galing!

But what impressed me more was its plot. I couldn't help but think that what if one day indeed someone would really hi-jack technology? What will happen to this mankind?

Long before iPhone was created and all those computer-of-the-future stuff from Microsoft, the world depended on manual labor and hardwork. We depended on sun-dial to tell time, used lever to bring stuff, pulleys, wheel and axle, etc. At that time, these were also called technology. People then survived only because the necessity wasn't there yet. But now people have changed, so have our environment and our necessities. People are dependent to technology now more than ever. Just check your bag or your daily stuff, how many of these things use hi-technology concept? From our digital watch to iPods to your expensive mobile phones, these are all technology talking to you. And if one day you left your iPod or your phone at home, or worse, ninakaw sya, suddenly, you feel naked and incomplete. Does technology indeed make us complete? Have we become mere extensions of these machines?

In the movie, one techno-genius found a big flaw in a big government agency's data and technology software. Cut the long story short, he employed a group of hackers to infiltrate the system and get vital information. He was able to put technology on hi-jack. Initially, one will think if this is really possible, and technology per se only meant the hi-tech hardwares we see. But the more important thing here is what we get out of them. That guy was able to control all of these things, manipulate vital processes and wreak havoc to the country. Thus, a terror attack on the next level. Ladies (Maggie Q was soo lovely in action!) and geeks were the terrorists this time.

The iPod generation now would feel the same way if one day iTunes would close down. But if napster, sharewares and file transfer sites were to close down, a lot of iPod people will certainly get real furious. And who wouldn't? It's like taking away a nipple from a baby.

Technology has caused and carved big changes in the society today. We're so dependent on them. Kids are not playing on the streets and meeting other friends because they'd rather play Nintendo Wii and MMORPG. Teens are now talking less to parents because their ears have grown ear phones on them. Young adults are getting more impatient and short-fused because "there is a faster way of doing things". Suddenly, relationships, ambitions and values have changed because of this thing called technology.

But it's not all bad. Technology has provided us better medical facilities, faster way of getting through and relationships have improved (connection via SMS, phone and emal).

There's obviosuly good and bad to technology but it depends on humans on we use it. In the movie, the villain used it to make himself rich and prove a point (that the system is faulty). But Bruce Willis was out to prove that even technology can be beaten by smarts and brawns anytime (and gun pointing, too!).

Happy Birthday to Jing and lace. and advanced greeting to Ivy!

These three lovely ladies are not my officemates.
We are not childhood friends either.
They are my clients.

Who knew that you could become friends with people who you "service"? Among the three, I knew Jing first, thanks to Allie. I remember Allie introducing me to Jing coming from one meeting in UP area. "She's such a lovely girl", i said.

I knew Ivy from doing one Coke light project after another. I still recall that she was the one na sumisigaw on the phone pressuring me to submit my FAs for the Coke light Journal. She hounded me like forever to get that file. And to be honest, I was getting really annoyed as she did that. The FA was out of my control naman kasi. But in fairness, it was really past deadline and I knew we had a deadline to beat. In other words, she was just doing her job very efficiently. But after that, I think things got better. You'd find Ivy to be a super duper sweet girl. She's so sweet that she texts me advise about FAs and submitting them on time. Case in point, brand book quotes.

Lace, naman, I just see her in the client's office. I never really got to talk to her until we were introduced before. Then nawala yun... then bumalik.

When I got "invited" to the OPS teambuilding activity in Boracay, that was the only time I actually re-discovered them again. I was initially hesitating on joining Allie in Boracay for a couple of reasons, but I said I'll go anyway. It's the perfect time to go.

Again, as written in my earlier blog, since Ivy was an FOO of Asian Spirit, she helped me get tickets there. And then, we went on the same day together with Jok, and the rest is history. As for Jing and Lace, both of them are legitimate to be in Boracay since they are from Ops. Those four days were a blast! I had so much fun chatting and laughing with them. I've never really seen this side of them. Super aliw!

So pwede naman pala talaga maging friend ang mga clients. Who said bawal. I am happy that I met the three of them. And on Monday, Jing and Lace will be celebrating their birthdays! And Ivy will have it on the 27th.

Before I forget, a very happy birthday to you girls! I wish you all the best and more. Hope to see you soon again!

Ehem, kahit di ako naka join sa Harry Potter (really really sorry, as of this writing, we're still cleaning up the artworks), I am with you in spirit.

MOMENT OF SILENCE... (bwahahaha!)

Happy Birthday again!

PS: Baka magtampo si Jok... Jok is also nice and sweet. She's such an angel. And before I forget, yes, our pre-nuptial photos says it all.

I still believe

KIM
last night I watched him sleeping
my body pressed to him
and then he started speaking
the name I heard him speak...was Kim
yes I know that this was years ago
but when moonlight fills my room I know
you are here... still

I still
I still believe
you will return
I know you will
my heart
against all odds
holds still

yes, still
I still believe
I know as long as I can keep believing, I'll live
I'll live
love cannot die
you will return
you will return
and I alone know why

(in a bedroom on the other side of the world, in America. A woman is
sitting beside CHRIS who is sleeping. She is ELLEN, CHRIS' s wife)

ELLEN
last night I watched you sleeping
once more, the nightmare came
I heard you cry out something
a word that sounded like... a name
and it hurts me more than I can bear
knowing part of you I'll never share
never know

but still
I still believe
the time will come
when nothing keeps us apart
my heart, forever more
holds still

(CHRIS wakes up from his sleep with a cry. ELLEN takes him in her
arms and calms him)

ELLEN
it' s all over, I' m here
there is nothing to fear
Chris, what' s haunting you?
won' t you let me inside
what you so want to hide!
I need you too!

KIM ELLEN
for still I will hold you all night, I will make
[it all right
I still believe you are safe with me
as long as I and I wish you could tell what you don't
[want to tell
can keep believing, I'll live what your hell must be

I'll live you can sleep now
you will return you can cry now
and I know why I'm your wife now
I'm yours for life
until we die until we die

Apple of my eye

I just copied this from Friendster, but this is ssoo funny!

U r the... Apple of my eye, Mango of my pie, Palaman of my tinapay, Keso of my monay, Teeth of my suklay, Fingers on my kamay, Blood in my atay, Bubbles of my laway, sala of my bahay, seeds of my palay, clothes in my ukay- ukay, calcium in my kalansay, calamansi on my siomai, inay of my tatay, knot on my tie, toyo on my kuchay, vitamins in my gulay, airplane of my Cathay, stars of my sky, hammer of my panday, sand of my Boracay, sultan of my Brunei, highlands of my Tagaytay, MOLE on my Ate Guy, baba of my Ai-Ai, voice of my
Inday Garutay, spinach of my Popeye, sizzle when I fry, wind when I paypay, tungkod when I'm pilay, feeling when I'm high, shoulder when I cry, wings when I fly,chilli on my siomai,prize
when I vie, cure to my "ARAY!", answer to my "WHY?", foundation of my tulay, truth behind the lie, the life after I die... In short miss you so much.

LOL

Song for you

"The Rescue"

I wish we could go back to the beginning
cause there's something missing from your eyes.
We lost a lifetime when I disappeared,
now I am coming back to you.

I wish I could fly, I know I can save us somehow.
You thought you were safe and sound but you need a hero now.
You gotta believe even with broken wings,
I've come to your rescue and you can rescue me.

Summer's the season but you're cold and freezing,
if there's a reason it's a lie.
When did I loose you, I need you to pull through,
the weight of the world never felt so alive.

Locked Myself Out Last Sunday

Stupid me. I locked myself out last Sunday night. The door knob of my room broke and it had to be forced open. Now, the knob is all open. Darn.

Xtina in flesh

I wasn't a Christina Aguilera fan until I saw her concert last Friday. She was too sexy, hot and stunning for words. The Back to Basics Tour in Manila was a blast!

Frankly, coming in to the concert, I had little expectations for it. In fact, watching her never crossed my mind until i got a VIP ticket to the concert. Well thinking about it, it's really rare that one can watch concerts of this magnitude and well, see bigger artists perform. So sayang naman if I didn't go. Hell, those were VIP tickets! I oughta go!

The concert started with xtina singing "Ain't no other man" from the same album. It was one of the two songs I know from that album. When she came out, the people in front started screeching and standing up. Some even stood on the stool to see her. And to think this is VIP section!? Well most of them were either kids or gay little boys. Anyway, the point is, her opening number was well-applauded. It was fantastic.

And then well a couple of other songs from the album were sung... zzz... at one point, I was thinking of getting Krispy Kremes first. But the latter portion of the concert made up for the unpopular songs sung at the first half. Of course, she sang Dirrty, Lady Marmalade, C'mon Over, Fighter, Beautiful and the hurt. Those were nice songs, to be fair - very upbeat and catchy.

The show ended with a blast. When the confetti poppers open, the drizzle took its cue and started falling. It was as if the rain was part of her whole show! Amazing! So while everyone was singing their hearts out (Fighter), it was drizzling and people were dancing. Ang saya!

I can say now that I can appreciate xtina better. Before I used to think that she was soo trashy, now I can say that it's really just an image that she's projecting. And to say that she comes next to Madonna when it comes to reinventing herself is quite veritable.

Fighter- i love this song

Fighter
Written by Christina Aguilera, Scott Storch

 After all you put me through You'd think I'd despise you But in the end, I wanna thank you 'Cause you made me that much stronger  Well I, thought I knew you Thinking, that you were true I guess I, I couldn't trust Called your bluff, time is up 'Cause I've had enough You were, there by my side Always, down for the ride But your, joy ride just came down in flames 'Cause your greed sold me out in shame, mmhmm  After all of the stealing and cheating You probably think that I hold resentment for you But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong 'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do I wouldn't know, just how capable I am to pull through So I wanna say thank you 'Cause it  Makes me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harder It makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter Made me learn a little bit faster Made my skin a little bit thicker Makes me that much smarter So thanks for making me a fighter  Oh, oh, oh, oh Ooh, yeah, ohh  Never, saw it coming All of, your backstabbing Just so, you could cash in On a good thing before I'd realize your game I heard, you're going round Playing, the victim now But don't, even begin Feeling I'm the one to blame 'Cause you dug your own grave  After all of the fights and the lies 'Cause you're wanting to haunt me But that won't work anymore No more, uh uh, it's over 'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture I wouldn't know how, to be this way now And never back down So I wanna say thank you 'Cause it  Makes me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harder It makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter Made me learn a little bit faster Made my skin a little bit thicker Makes me that much smarter So thanks for making me a fighter  How could this man I thought I knew Turn out to be unjust, so cruel Could only see the good in you Pretended not to see the truth You tried to hide your lies Disguise yourself Through living in denial But in the end you'll see You, won't, stop, me  I am a fighter and I (I'm a fighter) I ain't gon' stop (I ain't gon' stop) There is no turning back I've had enough, yeah...  Makes me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harder (Oh, ooh yeah, ooh yeah) It makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter Made me learn a little bit faster Made my skin a little bit thicker Makes me that much smarter So thanks for making me a fighter  Thought I would forget (thought I) I remember (ohh) 'Cause I remember (ohh) I remember  Thought I would forget (ooh) I remember (ohh) 'Cause I remember (ohh) I remember  Makes me that much stronger Makes me work a little bit harder It makes me that much wiser So thanks for making me a fighter Made me learn a little bit faster Made my skin a little bit thicker Makes me that much smarter So thanks for making me a fighter 

crazy / toxic

The past few weeks, my days have always been filled up with meetings and non-stop internals with the creatives. My schedule has gone from crazy to outrageously insane! Suddenly I find myself scheduling early morning meetings now just to accommodate it. And worse, thinking about work at night when I should be sleeping (gasp!). It's been crazy toxic here.

Wall to wall meetings and endless deadlines, these are things i have to face daily. Before, though the load was heavy, I still was able to find some time to check my personal web-based mails and respond to it, play Dream Day Wedding and even chat a little with Lot, but now I just find myself staring at the glass window and looking tired and harassed. At this tiny little corner where I am seated I am always glued. I can't move around until I have to go up to the creatives. It's that bad. I have to email, remind and send gazillion of things!

Oh well. I shouldn't complain. I should feel lucky that I have work here. (hehe drama) And instead I should work harder.

Yettie, our newest AE in the team has reported to work yesterday. I am looking forward to unloading some work to her. But I was scanning through the load, I find myself at a standstill. I've become too attached to my work that I don't want to pass on some load to her. Yikes. What's wrong with me. Here's help offering itself to me and here i am saying no?!

Gen will impose and then I give her work. If Gen makes it non-negotiable then i will force myself to give her work. Now let me see do that.

I think if there's one thing that's crazy toxic here, it must be me.

Bye bye friend

Let's take time to say goodbye (for now) to one of the funnest and coolest client i've ever had in my (limited) career in advertising. Goodbye and good luck to you Allie! You've been a wonderful person, client and friend. I'll definitely miss you.

To those who don't know her (and I'm sure most of you will not), Allie is a wonderful, wonderful lady. She's the candy in the sun, a sweetheart, an endearing friend, and fantastic client. She looks a bit like Katie Holmes (pre-TOMKAT days). Her favorite expressions are NICE and CHIKA. I'm beginning to think that these words are actually descriptors for her.

I've only known Allie for less than 3 years. My first presentation was to her. And I thought, "wow, she's soo pretty and articulate - that's soooo ivy league." First impressions do last. She is that person. And as i get to know her more, i realize more that she's that wonderful person talaga. And the more i work with her, the more comfortable i get. She makes hard work seem fun and easy.

If someday I'll be a client, then I want to be an Allie.

When you get to London, I am sure you will not find it hard to settle down. You're a promil kid, sure you'll make it big there. Just make sure to always be safe and pray.

Hope to hear from you always. I may not be a close friends as others but definitely you can rely on me when you need me.

Bye bye! You will be missed.

Money money money

Money is the root of all evil. And those who worship can go to hell now.

No matter how one tries to mask his love for money, it will really come out. For someone smart and supposed to be brilliant, a deluded and self-absorbed asshole will never see the light of money working for you. Money-obssessed people have only to think about. They don't have friends, they live in envy and jealousy. They feel lonely and unwanted. They only get satisfaction from money they have. Money will not buy love. Money will not buy anything but your ticket to hell.

I hope you change and realize that there are more important things in this world apart from money.

Humility and simplicity are far better.

It depends...

Every society in the world is made up of two kinds of citizens: the leaders and the followers. In a structural functional society, each kind has an important role to play. In fact, if you have to be strict, the followers can be broken down into smaller parts: the laborers, the business owners, etc. Each unit exists for special reasons and they need to fulfill them for the society to work. Not only did mankind evolve, the society and basic functions also evolved. Case in point, the government form.

We started from a primitive society where the idea of ownership didn't exist. Slavery gave rise to feudalism and feudalism to capitalism. So, too, capitalism will give rise to socialism (Engels and Marx said this).

But this assumes that everyone acts the way he was expected to. What happens when one of them has gone hayward and didn't actually do what was expected of him? Will society die? Will we stop evolving?

I'd like to point out that this country might be the first to suffer from stagnation if this theory is correct. Here in this country, our version of laws, rules, right, wrong and regulations are all twisted. Here, more than any other country in the world, the word "it depends" is more used. Somehow, we've learned to twist and bend every single rule that it has become a norm to expect exceptions to the rules.

I'm not playing innocent and say that I'm above this mentality. Given that "It depends" have become a subculture here, we are subjected to this at a very early stage in life. Our parents tell us that we're different and that we should be treated differently. We're allowed to eat candies when our parents are not there. We are given "get-out-of-jail" cards once in a while. And perhaps the biggest would be "I can do this because I am old enough; you're not allowed because you're young." or "Don't smoke. I'm different, I need this". These words of encouragements perpetuated and continues to contribute to this current system of thinking.

What particulary bothers me is when authorities invoke these statements like they're general truths. Here are some things:

1. Policemen on motorbikes - We know that the police are "strictly implementing" a no-helmet, no-ride policy. In fact they are doing their job in catching offenders. But when you see them drive around or guzzle their gas away, you won't see them wearing helmets. Maybe their head has gone too big to fit it. Oh, c'mon!

2. Policemen on police cars - yes, the seat belt policy has been ratified. But these law implementers are not following it. When will they buckle up? Or maybe their big bellies won't fit it?

3. Traffic Enforcers who enforce traffic more than a traffic solution. They are those who stand up, flash their light to people with eyes closed. A for multi-tasking.

4. Lawmakers who bend the rule and make excuses - it's past elections already and so i can do this and that. Uhm, Mr. Chairman, you are the chairman, you're not supposed to do that, remember? Then again, he says "i am the chairman, and the election's finished anyway."

5. Mayors who have "no corruption" signs all around his office premises but actually tells a lowly someone that things will not work if he doesn't grease his way in. He will even insinuate that he makes decisions and can deny something on no basis at all. Uhm, what for?

The list goes on and on, you know what I am talking about. But this society has become so permissive that we don't care anymore about it. In fact, we're even the ones who encourage this. We want to live in such a convenient society that we don't mind breaking the rules.

Even the gender stereotypes are slowly being broken - concept of male and female is fast turning androgynous as more women play dominant roles in the society, and men play second fiddle. Further, words are used loosely, more and more everyday. Concept of heterosexual, homosexual, metrosexual, bisexual, transexual, etc. We've coined more terms than ever to accommodate whatever twists we want to make in the what used to be just boy and girl society.

Flexibility isn't a bad thing, but in a society that admits to immaturity and abuse it can get quite dangerous. We're not asking for Batman to become our leader and lead us to success, but I dare say that we need to be more strict and stringent with rules and regulations. We need to comply by it. Rules are there to organize us, not to serve as benchmarks.

But yes, how can we do that when the leaders themselves give low regard to respecting the law?

Well, I'll close this by saying that multiply here in the office is not illegal.