SIGH

I've been trying to fight off the blues for the past few nights. There's just so many things happening now that I've began to lose track of my own problems. Well and good. But as these problems and blues compound, I am already beginning to feel that something is about to give. My happy self.

Well, not really. I will still be the jolly guy I've always been known but more and more the mean streak I've tried to contain has been slowly slipping. Today alone, I think I said several unkind statements to the people here in the office. I am not even counting the mumbles and grumbles I said on my way to work.

Like KC and Richard's movie, for the first time, I woke up with a frown on my face. I don't know why I was frowning but I was certainly sure that I am not happy with something.

Maybe I am just feeling a little pressured these days that work has been piling up. On top of that, I have some personal matters which I need to attend to. That and some family duties. Plus the long weekends are just longer work weeks for me.

Try to stay positive. Smile.

Di bale, next week naka leave ako!!

Nice to Know

It's nice to know that there are good people who would always be willing to help.

It's nice to know that God's love is new every morning, and He is faithful.

It's nice to know that no matter what happens, God loves us.

It's nice to know that insurances and HMOs do work and save you troubles.

It's nice to know that friends and family will always be there for you.

It's nice to know that we will be alright.

Birthday! Birthday!

Today is Gen's Birthday! - Happy Birthday Gen. Thanks for the sweet, fun, sour and adventurous moments you shared with me. Thanks for being a good friend, good boss and good seat mate. You are God's blessing to many of us. Have a happy b!

On August 20, it's Mervin's birthday! Nainis ka sa akin, mas nainis ako sayo. Dinala mo ako sa Ayala. Tumakas ako. You've sincerely been a good friend to me despite the many times that I couldn't. For this I am really thankful and want nothing but the best for you on your birthday. 

On August 22, it's my birthday! I just request for good health for my family, peace of mind and happiness on a daily basis. Cash will definitely be welcomed with open wallets :-)

Ka-birthday ko nga pala si Sando. Hmph. Sumabay ka pa.

On August 23, it's Shali's birthday! Isa ka pa. Hehe. Advanced greeting to you, hope you get your US Visa approved. And more years for you and Ian to come.

To those that I missed putting here, sorry, I am using my memory now for all these data. My memory bank has this message always blinking : memory is low.

haha

Birthday! Birthday!

Learning to Prioritize

The human mind will never really understand human behavior. For most of us, it's just so easy to judge other people and say out loud how you feel. But did we ever really think long and hard enough to understand the motivations of other people?

The past few days I've discovered something new about myself. I remember being called "magulo" or disorganized several times by my family. Having probably seen the many decisions, whether right, wrong, or wishy-washy, I've made in the past 26 years, it's easy for them to conclude that. But never did I articulate what's also going on in my mind as I made those decisions. For many a time now, I've consciously made decisions not according to cognitive experience and rational answers, but as to what feels right. 

But arriving at a decision is never easy. Not for me. Not definitely on personal matters. I would be able to come up with better decisions probably when it comes with work-related matters. Whenever I am faced with making personal decisions, I go through a series of emotional highs and lows. More often than not, I flip-flop my mind, weigh my options, get excited and then lose steam in the same minute. It's like I don't know what I want for myself.

It's hard to focus. There are just days when you get distracted so easily and swayed so easily despite the two hours of nonstop mental psyching. It's hard to focus knowing that there are so many opportunities available and you don't want to lose out on any of them. At the end of it, you lose yourself in a series of irrelevant thoughts and muddled theories and forced realizations.

My problem: I am excitable. 

I get excited easily and I lose it just as fast. I get swayed by my own thoughts. I lose myself and my firm stance when I get excited. I get impulsive and really incoherent when I get excited. My determination is at its peak when I am excited. But when I lose excitement, expect me to be out of it on the same minute.

I cannot keep this way. I've already done some mistakes and made unfortunate decisions by being excited. I've lost what could have been a nice opportunity for losing focus.

My solution: Prioritize

I've learned that I cannot stop myself from getting excited. That's inborn to me. No matter how I psyche myself and focus, this behavior will not change, not immediately at least. And because there are so many things I want to do with my life with so little time and resources, I need to learn how to prioritize. Understand that life will throw at me several opportunities, but learn not to take all of them. Just take what's good for me at this time, and what's ripe for picking. And learn to shun away the other things and concentrate, and be thankful with what I have at the moment.

Just recently, I've had another dilemma. CEBU PACIFIC SEAT SALE. The problem with zero fare that it sounds more tempting that it really is. Zero Fare does sound very inviting. Imagine being able to travel without paying for your trip!? Now, that's what you think. 

Cut to four months ago: I decided that because of rising gas prices, inflation and several other unachieved dreams, I need to save money for now and delay personal gratification, aside from shopping. Meaning: no expensive purchases anymore after this macbook. I will need to delay most of it.

Then came the sale. I booked hastily forgetting what I vowed. Two months after came the credit card bill, which I paid in full. It wasn't expensive. For a trip to HK, at Zero Fare, I was only charged less than five thousand. It's quite a steal, eh? Now the planning part.

This is the part where it hurts. I started computing for the potential expenses: first on the list were subsistence expenses: hotel, food, transportation; next was the mandatory surcharges like airport taxes, exit payments, re-entry payments, visas; and then finally the leisure expenses: shopping and lifestyle. 

It would have been a complete failure if I go on that trip and not enjoy, nor spend. I would look kawawa if I just window-shopped. I know I would end up panic buying anyway. I could afford it. I've saved enough money for that. No problem. I was sooo ready for the trip, even if I was going to travel alone. 

Cut to 48 hours ago. I realized two things:

1. At times like now where we have to do our part to save up and spend a little, how can I blow dough just like that? Is it really going to be worth it? I am travelling alone. I am not necessarily in need of anything now. I've got and bought good stuff here already, the trip was just a bonus.

Somehow it just doesn't make sense anymore. While I know that this is self-entitlement, but there are many other opportunities to do this. I am blowing some 20grand on mandatory expenses alone. And then the subsistence pa, which I have to all pay on my own. Somehow there is something wrong in this scenario.

I could very well afford to pay for a brand new chronos watch with that amount I am spending sans shopping. Maybe it's nice to hear but i decided it's not worth it.

I may have saved like 8K for the ticket, but I will be losing some 80k in other expenses that are not as paramount to me at the moment.

Prioritize: This is not the last time I'd get to travel. Come December me and my bestest friends are going to Singapore. I don't need to do it now. 

2. Mom has not been feeling well the past few days. She's been going to the hospital for a battery of consultations and treatments. She is undergoing therapy too for her back injury. Needless to say she's not in her best elements these days.

How can I go gallivant somewhere else when I know that someone here whom I love dearly is not feeling well? How can I?

Prioritize: delay the trip. When I was sick before, she took plenty of painstaking time caring for me. It's time I delay gratification and care for her now. Now, especially that she needs encouragement the most.

Needless to say, this Hong Kong trip is cancelled. It's true that i didn't devote too much time on planning what to do there, and how to get by. Maybe that's a sign telling me as well that there's nothing much out there. But I do know that I have other obligations here that need to be done.

Hong Kong will be there forever. And i will be able to go there soon, or who knows even farther.

I am not sad that I am missing this trip. I am happy that I am doing the right thing and learning more in life. 

Until my next roller coaster trip... :)

PS:I composed this message while waiting outside the therapy room of St. Lukes.

Much Ado About 8-8-8

I remember two years ago, The Omen featuring Julia Stiles was re-interpreted. Updating the doomsday and devil's spawn story, 6-6-6 seemed like the perfect marketing gimmick. Last year could have been the religious' turn.

According to Bible Scholars, 7 is God's number. 7 is considered complete. 6 is considered incomplete, as this is the devil's number. 7 days in the creation. 7 days and 7 nights Jonah spent inside the big fish. 7 crowns. And many other 7. 7-7-7 could have very well been our last day on Earth.

This year 8 takes prominence. Whether you take it as infinity symbol, a symbolism of blossom or whatever that is you believe in, definitely there’s something superstitious about the number 8. To some 8-8-8 will be very auspicious, but to some other, it’s bad luck. Why? Read this article from THE CHINA POST.

Today, July 29, is the first day of the seventh month of the Chinese lunar calendar. In local folklore, it is the beginning of the Ghost Month, when the gates of the underworld are open and ghosts are free to roam among the living, in search of food to live on for the rest of the year.

To many people in Taiwan, except for funeral rites, no major personal events are to happen during the thirty days of Ghost Month. Weddings, inaugurations, moving house and other big occasions are shunned, for fear of bad luck. Potentially life-threatening activities, such as medical operations, long-distance travel and even swimming are also avoided at all costs, if possible.

Instead, to appease the wayward ghosts, offerings of food and incense are made to them in temples throughout the island. Gold and silver paper symbolizing money is burnt to allow the ghosts to live well. Families also make offerings of food to their ancestors at their places of interment. And for the lonely spirits who have no one to worship or feed them, people go to temples to pray that they return to the underworld contented, and not remain on earth to wreak havoc. These events take place throughout the thirty days.

Meanwhile, the central event of Ghost Month is the Chungyuan Pudu (mid-year) festival, also called Ghost Festival, on the fifteenth of the lunar month, or Aug. 12 this year. At Buddhist and Taoist temples, plenty of worshippers chant verses from scripture, light incense sticks and burn symbolic money to help the ghosts successfully make the journey to the living world.

This "bai bai" ritual is unique to Taiwan, as the tradition of observing Ghost Month originates from the mainland forebears of many residents who migrated to the island centuries ago during the Ching Dynasty. To put a stop to the violent feuds that often occurred between families of landowners and other settlers, it was agreed upon that a special festival would take place every year to honor the dead. Different families would take charge of organizing ceremonies each year.

The choice of the fifteenth day is due mainly to the melding of Taoist and Buddhist customs among the settlers. In Taoism, the fifteenth day is when the Earth God (Tu Di Gung) comes down to earth to judge good and bad people, while Buddhists make offerings on that day to save Buddha's mother from the Sangha spirits. The combined significance of the Chungyuan festival makes it one of the three major spiritually linked festival events in Taiwan, along with Lunar New Year and the Ching Ming grave-sweeping festival.

Of the various mass observations of the Chungyuan festival around Taiwan, the most popular is the one held in the northern port city of Keelung. In addition to the rituals noted above, worshippers release a horde of water lanterns into the sea to guide the spirits of the dead. It is believed that the farther that the lanterns float, the safer the ghosts will be and the luckier worshippers will become in the coming year.

On the last day of the ghost month, the underworld spirits are to leave the living world. Before life returns to normal on the next day, the start of the eighth lunar month, temple monks symbolically "chase" the ghosts back to their world and close the gates of hell.

Despite the stigma attached to Ghost Month, it is not a particularly unlucky time of year, according to local astrologers. In fact, Taiwan's version of Valentine's Day falls on the seventh day of the lunar month, or Aug. 4. Plus, Chinese Father's Day (Aug. 8) is simultaneously the eleventh day of this year's Ghost Month.

Meanwhile, certain Buddhists view Ghost Month as a lucky time of year. Also, a minority of lovers has bucked the trend in recent years by getting married during the period.

However, given the longstanding significance that these thirty days have on many families in Taiwan, Ghost Month and the Chungyuan Pudu are likely to remain a major annual event on the island for quite a while.

Dinner at Bistro Filipino

Since Bistro Filipino had been some sort of an Urban Legend to us, we had a slight difficulty looking for it. We knew it was at The Fort but which part? I always thought it was somewhere between 32nd and 5th streets, but apparently it's not there. 

So after ER and Trinka harassed me to "ask" this person off the street, we eventually found it. But by the time we found it, we were really starving. Come to think of it, it was already past 8 and we were still cruising along the streets of the Fort with no idea in mind in ER's brand new RAV 4. But it was worth the wait, I have to say.

Service was fantastic. We were attended to soon we arrived. We have been apprised like 4x that our tables were being set already and if we didn't mind waiting. So while ER and Trinka smoked, we were just outside trying to decide which entree to order. We ordered and waited...

Then came a basketful of hot pandesal. As soon as we dipped our hands onto the basket, we knew that was it. Piping hot pandesal with butter did it for me. I even had seconds!

Then came our food. It was absolutely sumptuous. I got to try ER's crispy and yet so smooth and easy foie gras. As I ate it, it was slowly melting away in my tongue. And trinka's pork binagoongan was fantastic too! But my kare-kare was the absolute best!

Posting photos here. You drop by soon. It will be worth visiting, i am telling you.