Read this.

I copied this from Alvin's blog site. Duduguin ka talaga.

The entry below documents this (not me) blogger's thought and exasperation towards ORCs, Call Center guys and low life forms. I am not commenting. Hihi. Read on.

Blog from Friendster of ihatecofi@yahoo. com

About Me

Name:ihatecofi

Location: Makati City , Philippines

Certified glitterati from Makati . A commoner of all the chichi places. Simply suave and primo. The envy of many.

Adonishingly fantasmo... Yep. That's me pare. Motto: "Make Poverty History!" -- I hate the baho masa / orcs. Obliterate them all!

Announcement

I'll be leaving for L.A. this November 2. So I guess that will make you katutubos happy na. I'll be in L.A. for two weeks with Claude. I'll just make gala lang ang shop. That's my forte naman eh. And I'm really good at it. I have a list na nga of things to buy when I get to Rodeo Drive . That is where kasi Prada Epicenter (which is an uber cool store because of the changing room walls that will go from clear to opaque with a single touch), Michael Kors, Dolce and Gabbana (which opened theif first stateside men's store btw), Gucci, and the new store my cousin has been making kwento since August pa - BCBG Max Azria! Hay, I've been bitten ata by the shopping bug eh kaya I'm kinda shopaholic na. Damn!

The plane will leave Manila around 8:30 PM so I don't have enough time na nga to buy new clothes for the trip. My winter jacket kasi is like a year old na. Its like ancient na. I don't want to become the laughing stock naman of my friends there right? So anyways, baka bukas I'll drop by Rockwell to buy for myself a new one. I have to buy na rin pala new mittens kasi mine got sira na rin when we visited Alaska last January. Now, I'm really lito na on what to do. So many things to do, yet so little time. :(

And here's what I have to say about some nasty comments which I tried to make bura na din for quite some time now and got tired na by doing so:

To all the death threats: In your face pare. You guys are sooo creepy no. Kulang na lang na someone will make Awooo on the background to complete the effect eh. Siguro you people are just inggit lang because I'm like sikat na and so gwapo pa. Stop irritating my aura no.

To all the callcenter faggots: I paid someone na to make pasabog Malate this November 1 to wipe out na the entire bakla population of the Philippines . At least I'm doing you guys a favor kasi I'll be sending you na agad to heaven, express pa!

To all the good people: Hey pare, thanks for respecting my blog ha? Don't you worry guys, I'm ignoring na naman all the sickos here.

And hey, if you want to add me on friendster, here's my address: ihatecofi@yahoo. com. I'm cool pare, don't worry. And the same goes to all the cute chicks.

And I bet most of you are inggit na naman. Drool up to sawa pare. I get to go to L.A. just to enjoy and you have to asa pa na you company will bring you there for training. >:P

Also to the pathetic natives who keeps on emailing me stuff and posting some death threats on my comment box... here's what I have to say -- I know you guys are bobo and all, but please lang no, go kill yourself na lang if my blog bothers you that fucking much... And if you monkeys are really that tapang, reveal yourselves and I'll be more than happy to teach you natives a lesson or two. Tangina.

Obviously, you're nothing naman eh.

Jinxed

It was really annoying talaga pare. It was like I'm so malas today. I invited pa naman a girl to shop with me kanina so I told my mom na I don't need a driver na. Especially an old driver pa. Negative pogi points kaya if I am dating someone tapos may chaperon pa. Tapos oldie pa! I'm no longer a kid kaya tapos I have a driver pa.

So yun na nga diba, when I looked at the garage, my car was missing so I told my mom, "Mom, where's my car?" And she told me na my father is using it daw and that I have to settle na lang daw on my old car which is a Toyota Vios. Damn talaga! Kung kelan pa I will make porma, wala pa my car. I don't like the Vios kaya. What will people think no? It's bulok na kaya and one headlight is busted pa. It's so squatter talaga. So I'm like a taxi driver na diba. I'm really embarrased talaga when I picked Jaja from Multinational Paranaque, her mom looked at me like sama pa. What the f_ck is she thinking no? I look like a good boy kaya and not to mention my uber cool porma with matching oakley shades pa.

I was just like making porma pa naman to her daughter tapos she will act that way. The hell! She's like so weird no. I just made bati na lang then asked Jaja to get inside the car para makaalis na kami away from that freaky house and from her weirdo mom.

On our way to ATC, my tire got flat pa. Of all times naman pare, I don't know pa naman how to change a flat tire. As if naman I will change it no. I'm afraid kaya na my getup will get sira pa. So I called my mom and told her that I need Mang Tonyo to pick us up because the damn vios car broke down. Kahiya talaga with my date. So we waited for half an hour before Mang Tonyo arrived. Fuck talaga that old guy, it was like so lapit lang kaya tapos it took him half an hour pa! So I made galit na lang to Mang Tonyo infront of Jaja to make paimpress na I have a slave no. After that, we decided to shop na lang at ATC instead of Rockwell kasi its raining daw sa Manila . I invested pa naman two hours in my looks tapos it will get basa lang. No way pare! Never will I allow myself to look like the orc-like jologs working at a callcenter no. They are always like basa kaya underneath those thick jackets and looks like baho pa!

Tapos at ATC, I got dulas pa because one of the stupid Janitors is not doing his job. I was really embarassed talaga kanina because almost all of the katutubos inside the mall were like looking at me and giggling. I mean seriously, whats their problem ba? Siguro they were all just inggit lang because I still look good no after making dulas at that slippery floor.

I know how to handle my poise kaya unlike them, even though hinde pa sila nadudulas they all look like the floor na. Kadire talaga those people.

I was really infuriated talaga kanina because of the laughing katutubos and the badvibes. Tapos my date made yaya uwi agad. Damn! She's missing out on something pare. Shit talaga! So yun na nga diba? We have to go early without me buying anything pa. Shit talaga! What's her problem din ba? I bet she got that from her weirdo mom din no! Well f_ck 'em both. As if naman I'm really after her. She's nothing kaya compared to Ysabelle.

Well, siguro tama na muna that for now. Will stop na muna blogging. Have to finish pa some stuff before I leave for US tomorrow.

And to all the fucking katutubong low-life pakialemors no... have a life will you! Hope you all rot in hell! FUCK YOU ALL! Pakasawa kayo for two weeks. I'll make ganti na lang when I get back. It's my opinion kaya, so up to now, WALA PA RIN KAYONG SAY!

Orc Spotting

Ok pare, I have some friends asking me na on how to spot daw ba an orc from all the uber dami ng tao here sa pinas. Its very simple lang naman pare diba? Below are 10 things you should know to spot an orc...

They are always making kumpol almost on all public places making loud kwentos to each other and making loud tawas while speaking to each other with English accent pa! Tapos when you look at them they are like very much natives pare. Complete with the balat mahirap pa.

People aboard some masa jeepneys and other public utility vehicles with their rather gaudy and obviously second hand ukay-ukay clothes. Tapos sticking out pa their latest got-from-the- bombays-as-hulugan celfones from time to time for all to see. Kaya naman most of them usually end up all patay na from the tusok on the side they got from being held up. Lousy no?

People who are flashing their faux-brand clothing like Louis Vuitton, DKNY, etc. tapos making lakad lang together with their big bags containing their lutong bahay baons and everything-they-need-for-the-day-na-galing-from-haus-just- to-survive kit dahil they are making tipid to save their money pa to buy some mumurahing drinks from Coffee Bean or Starbs to look cool pare.

Tapos when you try to stare at them for about ten minutes, some words starts na to magically appear all over their body no.. Words like "FAKE", "POSER", "ORC" and may complete phrase pa na "HEY! LOOK AT ME, I'M LIKE A FUCKING YABANG POSEUR NO!".

Optical illusion? Hell NO pare!

People making tambay along sidewalks (i'm referring to makati , ortigas and QC business districts pare) and trying hard to look sosy by making hithit their mumurahing Phillip yosi. Very much looking like a bunch of crapolas if you ask me.

People with complete set of AM/FM stereos tapos making it tago lang inside their pockets para it would look something like an ipod pare. Tapos even though there's a loud music na sa place, they will try to wear pa rin their headphones and make headbang.
Eh they are listening lang naman to AM balita no. The hell pare!
People wearing thick jackets even though its sooo fucking init sa pinas. Tapos when they try to make taas na their kili-kili to make the funk its like so dripping wet na with the baho masa juice.

People wearing uber kapal chin-chun-su foundation just to hide their panget faces and only goes out at night because they're afraid that the tanghali sun might melt their faces and reveal the kadire physiognomy underneath no. As in!

They live at the ipis and daga infested squalid part of the city. Places that the goverment should consider bulldozing na because of the pollution they generate and the low morality they teach their uber daming kids which are the future holduppers and kidnappers here sa pinas.

All the baklas and tivolis you see at night making pakalat-kalat at the business districts. Tapos they are making tingin pa with matching pagnanasa pare in their eyes. As in asa pa them no!

And they have this uncanny ability to irritate my aura. Its creepy and eery at the same time.

So there.
Shet talaga!

I went to Makati Medical Plaza for my appointment with Belo because I was asked to come back by Dra. Muñoz. I am with my
cuz Llyod because the good-for-nothing driver of mine, Mang Tonyo was sick again. Fuck talaga that matanda! My response to
the drug was ok naman daw so we left early. But prior to that, I haven't eaten anything. I skipped my agahan because I was
really getting conscious na of my weight. The last time I tipped the scale it was like alarming na. Pero I was really hungry na kanina.
Lloyd told me na there's a McDo near Makati Med, at the People Support Center. Fuck talaga! Of all places. I hate
pa naman the callcenter peeps. They really cloud my aura like shit. Such waste of talents! Damn! But I thought since maaga pa
naman I assumed na lang na wala pa those jologs. At Mcdonalds, the place was ok naman. There are a few people eating na
when we arrived. And I can say they are from the nearby offices because they look normal unlike those abnormal telemarketers.

Since I made my cousin Lloyd as my driver-alalay, I told him na I will pay na lang for his meal. He told me na he has a VIP card
from Mcdonalds and would get some freebies when we reached 150.00 food purchase.. So I ordered for myself a Chicken Spaghetti
Combo, a twister fries, a large McFloat and for him, a Mcfloat and Twister Fries combo. Our bill totalled P200+ so I presented my
cousin's card together with the receipt but the bitch cashier told me na they ran out of giveaways na daw. The fuck! They should
have told me na they don't have any more giveaways na that time so I didn't order na for an additional Mcfloat and Twister Fries.
I was really infuriated talaga kanina. The manager was really incompetent para mawalan ng stocks of those promotional items.
Damn! And not only that... the hell!... They made me wait pa for another 10 minutes at the counter. If I haven't told that bitchy
cashier to just give us a number instead of having me wait for our order, baka hinde pa tumakbo her brains. She was really soo
bobo. I bet all of her professors from a cheap university were all bobo just like her. Shit talaga!

So I asked na lang for a customer feedback card from the assistant manager and wrote my disappointments with their kind of service. I really felt sorry for the owners of that Mcdo branch for hiring such incompetent people! Sabagay, what would you expect from that building crowded with bobo peeps.. Hay! Kahawa talaga the callcenter virus.


I'm Like F*cking Annoyed!

Puta pare, I never thought some losers will still find this personal journal pa. What's your problem ba people? Fuck you all no.
You're all such losers kaya. You are all so pathetic kaya! The hell! Make sulat na lang kaya all your hate comments on your
squatter houses and not on my blog you fucking dorks. It's none of your fucking business what I think of other people kaya.
I bet all the people who made some bobo comments on my site are the jologs call center people. Now, I'm so fucking annoyed
na! Can't you all just like fucking pakamatay na lang or better yet have your pathetic lives donated to hell no. They need pa
additional idiots there like you. And also carry with you all your crap comments. I don't need it kaya. The hell. You are all giving
me bad vibes now no. And to all those inggit people, the hell! You are just making yabang of what you have eh your family don't
have anything to eat na at home no. I bet, you just bought all your clothes from that ukay-ukay store along buendia no? In your
face pare! Damn talaga you bobo katutubos!!

What the heck!


I wasted my afternoon making bura of some bobo comments on my site. Most of 'em talking bout shit and stuff. Some imbecile
callcenter fags kasi made some kadire comments here. Asa pa you all no! Hope someone will make pasabog Malate this
November 1 para mawala na the fag community! Shit talaga the choice of bakla words you have. It only reflects what kind
of commonality you guys have. Go f_ck na lang your dogs no or better yet, fuck na lang each other! Doon naman kayo good at eh.

Tapos, there are some pa making yabang about their compensations at a callcenter.. Really now ha! All I can say is that
dream on you moronic katutubos! I really don't care how you work your asses off just to earn the amount of compensation
that you claim. Almost 95% naman of your earning goes to your pathetic lifestyles eh. Like buying some SECOND HAND stuffs..
like bulok cars, cellfones and even clothes. And I bet some of them are hulugans pa! Kadire talaga you dogs! Tapos the remaining
5% goes na to your dog food. Sabagay, you only need little nutrients lang naman to feed your katiting na brains no! I bet you
are just inggit lang dahil I have what most of what you are just dreaming of! Hahaha! Don't worry, I will donate na lang my
old clothes or better yet auction it para naman maka-afford na kayo ng mga signature clothes and off with the cheap imitations.
Its kinda irritating na kasi seeing you guys with your tasteless getups eh. I mean, whats up ba with the thick jackets and fur coats
ha? Eh its so init naman in the Philippines no. I bet you are the ones who needs to make lipat na lang to another bansa because
I think you don't belong here no! I bet you people are so baho na inside whenever you take off those jackets kasi all your kili-kilis
are like basa na! Like haven't you heard of Driclor or Botox ba? Sabagay, you can only afford tawas and rexonas in sachets lang
pala. Silly me. Haha.

Tapos kanina, I was really like malas pa. Kasi I lost na agad the new phone I bought yesterday. I don't know if I left it at Starbs
Standard Chartered or somewhere else in Makati during a business meeting this morning. Tapos Ysabelle pa is making gulo on my
mind. Now, I'm soo f _cking depress na pare.

And to all the LOSER COMMENTS can just like fucking pakamatay na lang kaya. Its my personal opinion no, so wala kayong say.
And to all the friendly posts on my journal pare, thanx ha? Ingats sila sa inyo





Facial Foot Spa?


Tangina pare.. been itching na rin to write for quite some time now. Been busy kasi with lots of stuff lately. Tapos my aura was like drained pa most of the time because of the right and left stupidity of some of our employees. As in shit talaga!

By the way pare, just wanna suggest pala Chi, The Spa at Edsa Shangri-La. They have this uber nice na spa package which I availed yesterday - The traveller's retreat. So nice talaga the place and the treatment. The biodroga aroma *whatever-is- it-called- again?* wrap is a must pare! Sad thing Claude wasn't available na naman to enjoy the uber relaxing experience. Don't want naman to make libre Hilariously Stoopid that was waiting for me outside for a treatment. I mean, its only 6k pesos lang naman pero diba pare, im not that stupid to waste my money on another stoopid katutubo. They made my ulo soo sakit na nga at the office tapos I'll make libre pa. As in asa pa them pare. Siguro if my mood was good that time, I could have treated him pa for a foot spa sa face. As in! Tangina kasi naman the face of that old guy. I mean there's this cheap native chayote naman for instant face lift diba? Hehe. I remember kasi my yaya once cooked tinola while I was still in Baguio . Tapos she was making hiwa the chayote when I accidentally made hawak to the slices she made. And shit talaga the feeling pare. It was like the balat of my hands was treated with Botox with matching instant peeling pa! I was like crying talaga, so my yaya was like really taranta na that time on what to do. E I was like soo young kaya and beaming with innocence pa. Kaya naman when my mom called I told them that yaya made lagay lason sa food kaya it was sticky. And since I have a paranoid mother for a momma, she fired nga agad the stupid candy-ass maid and announced pa na I was like a hero because of what I have discovered. Hahaha. So funny talaga that scenario pare.

Also pare, I chatted recently at Yahoo chat (The Hot Tub) and shit! I think I have a cyberstalker pare! Below is a log of our chat:

You are in "The Hot Tub:3" ( Come on in for a soak [Notification: We are currently recording IP addresses of all Yahoo! Chat users.] )

Ihatecofi: Any hot chinita chick from makati for coffee tonight? Beautiful chinks only pls. NO maids, gays, citizens of Orcville and jologs! Males, FUCK OFF!

UglyBitch: Hi. Im a Filipina but not from mkti. Is it ok if im not beautiful. Just alluring. 27f/pque/CSR

Ihatecofi: No. Its not ok.. Shoo!

ladylou4u joined the room
lincolncyfan joined the room

lincolncyfan: ANY FEMALES FOR CAM CHAT????

lincolncyfan: ANY FEMALES FOR CAM CHAT????

UglyBitch: Alam mo u are stupid. Dont you know that alluring is a synonym for beautiful? I am beautiful. Stupid.

Ihatecofi: You know what? You are the one who is sooo fucking stupid. Just because one is seductive doesnt necessarily make her beautiful. You should go back to grade school and brush up on your english vocabulary. Now scram, you're messing my style.

sexxy_karina_ 750: hey guyz

UglyBitch: Really? No its not!@ I have a dictionary with me right now and it said here that alluring means beautiful.

Ihatecofi: Duh! Its not relative! Alluring is somewhat vague and abstract. And its meaning is limited only by pathetic orcs like you. So go pack your lame dictionary and get out from this channel.

UglyBitch: E TANGINA KA PALA SIGURO BAKLA KA! PIKON KA NA BAKLA KA PA! ANG PATHETIC MO! BAKA PAG NAKITA MO AKO MAGULAT KA NA AKO PALA ANG HINAHANAP MO!

Ihatecofi: I'm really sorry to burst your inflated katutubo ego, but I know what I want and ITS NOT YOU! And if ur not stupid, you'll get a hint na agad.. Now I'm having doubts na nga if you are really a girl.

UglyBitch: BABAE AKO! Kahit tawagan mo pa ako ngayon! Bigay ko sau cp ko to prove that I am a girl.

Ihatecofi: Thanks but no thanks. The way you conduct your conversation suggests that your social strata is that of the native muchachas. I'd rather catch ebola and die than disgrace myself. So fuck off!

UglyBitch: Sige na nga my frog prince, i'll kiss you na lang and lets forget the fight. So, would you like to meet up with me?

Ihatecofi: Nutcase alert!


************ ********* ********* *****
Claude called me yesterday to inform me about the Subic Bay cars. He made sabi lang that one of his tito daw owned one of the unclaimed luxury cars. I mean, why on hell would the government crush such precious rides? Are they insane na ba? I mean those cars when auctioned could sell for millions pa diba! It could even feed and clothe thousands of natives that are lurking the streets of metro wearing ukay ukay shirts lang. Tangina! I was like muntik ng mahimatay when I saw the video clip on youtube. My heart talaga was really aching seeing the BMW X5's and GTO sports car being crushed to zero ground level. I think I said the word shit a thousand times while watching the clip. As in shit talaga! Shit! Shit! Shit!

I remember asking my dad to call Commissioner Morales to at least save one of the remaining luxury cars para saken kasi my car was like sira na. I even heard kasi Congressman Suarez even offered 8 million for one of the luxury vehicles. E my dad was like richer naman than that congressman no. I mean, I've seen his collection of cars and its nothing fancy naman pare. My late Tito Archie has a nicer collection of muscle cars before sa California . I personally liked his 1965-1973 Classic Mustangs Collection. I wonder what happened na to those cars. I'll call nga my tita tomorrow.

Anyways pare, going back to the luxury cars. I was like making hinayang talaga to the thing they did to those precious rides... My aura literally left my body pare upon seeing those uber cool cars being smashed to like oblivion.. Tangina! Are they blind ba pare not to see that those are priceless? Just one car is worth daan libong katutubo lives na? I mean, there are many squatter areas worth bulldozing dito sa pinas, why pa the cars? E diba nga mother earth is helping na get rid of all the baho masa by means of sunod-sunod ng storms here sa pinas. Shit lang talaga that the baho natives have power grips kaya naman its so hirap for mother earth to wipe 'em clean na eh. The gorvernment should read na those natural signs pare. Its about time na. I think they should divert na their attentions from being stupid into being matalino by putting an end to poverty. Its obvious naman kasi that the streets are flooded because of the filth these people generate everyday.. clogging most of the sewerage systems dito sa pinas.

Smash na lang those orcs to pieces. Wag lang the rides. Sayang kasi the cars eh.


************ ********* *
Its not everytime pare that I get to watch tv. Pero just recently lang I can't help talaga but laugh at a religious show I've seen on TV. As in literally laughing talaga pare. I even heard my yaya speaking to one of the native muchachas if I was high daw ba on drugs. Tangina dude, why are they making pakialam diba if I'm laughing alone no. I mean, the show was really kakatawa naman talaga. Kasi pare, there was this old lady who was making a live testimonial that she was totally healed by a certain miracle guru that only made ihip and hawak her forehead tapos she got himatay lang, then after that, she was claiming na she was totally healed na daw. As in literally dancing and prancing pare. Prior to that, she was bed ridden daw because of excruciating pain on her back. It was some sort of cancer ata that rendered her invalid. Tapos, when a friend accompanied her to the gathering to get healed, she was complete pa with props -- wheelchair and alalais. Anyways, the funny thing was when the guru made ihip on her forehead and she literally dropped to the floor like a wilted veggy. I thought she was patay na or something kasi I figured the guru must have that uber baho breath that made everyone he spoke to as in up close and personal be like patay na. The weird thing lang pare, after a few minutes, the lady was making kisay pa. Tangina that breath talaga! Just imagine, with just a single ihip lang pare, the person in front of him will drop agad and was making kisay pa! He is special alright. Gifted with special baho breath with healing powers. What made it even funnier was the fact that after the kisayan incident, the old lady stood up as if there's no pain on her back na agad. Ang cool diba? And you know what I think pare? I think they are just making it up that they are healed na. Kasi its obvious naman na it was kahiyaan na diba. It was aired ba naman on national TV pare. So it'll be kahiya if they don't act that they get healed diba? T'was a bunch of crapolas pare. They are just faking it kaya. If you will try to look closer, its obvious naman na they are in sooo much pain while trying to get up and walk eh. Some of them are making ngiwi pa when trying. Tapos you'll never hear from them again after a couple of days because they were all like patay na. How fucking stoopid is that pare?!

Ok dude, im not trying to act as an anti kristo or whatever no. Was just airing my opinion on these shitty programs on tv. Eh its obvious naman na the people behind these programs are earning a lot from it eh. See how their lives remarkably changed from being a busabos preacher to instant millionaires? Tangina, thats what you call as pure panloloko pare. Capitalizing on religion to gain material wealth is soo fucking panloloko pare. They should rot in hell for doing so. Its soo obvious naman na the driving force behind them is Taning diba? I mean, they are not even God's gift to mankind like me. And they don't have what it takes eh. Kaya can't help it talaga but to laugh whenever these shows are on TV pare. Believe me, stand up comedy at its finest! Really good stuff dude. Good thing I'm not that tanga to believe in those gago no. As in asa pa them diba.