Among the many other things said about love in the Bible, it probably forgot that love can also make you stupid. So many things in this lifetime that one cannot explain, and that includes the process of falling in and out of love.
Loving these days seem an elusive experience. We keep talking about it like it's a general truth. We keep on hypothesizing why we are not in love now, how we know when it's the right person and when it feels right to just give in. For the pa-smart, they put up so many defenses just to protect themselves from pain and inevitable heartbreak, but in the end they still go through that vicious cycle.
The thing with love, it's like a plague. No matter how you prepare against it or build up a wall to protect yourself from it, when it comes, it comes. And no amount of anything can stop you from falling.
The thing is, falling in love is such a wonderful feeling. I am just stating what I feel is true with me. I've learned in the past to fall in love, fall out of love. Told myself how this person is not right for me, or how love can wait. I rationalized that feeling. But the more I hold myself back, the more intense and longing I was.
Cut to the time when the bug bit me. In my mind, I knew that this person was not right for me. We have different views, we have different opinions, even feng shui would tell us that we shouldn't be together but this person struck me and I find myself in love.
The things I didn't do for others I did for this person. That was my ultimate test of how madly into it I was. I never bended backwards this much (not even to the last person I loved dearly). And I thought it would have a happy ending...
The thing is all that I do and all that I am seem to be never enough. Even for someone who never believed in doing things for the other person just because but eventually bending it just because seemed not enough. I am never enough. I wasn't good enough.
What was I to think? Im at a point, confused and seriously reconsidering it where I am just thinking of myself now. If it was never enough, maybe it will never be enough. If you never waited for anyone, what makes me think you will wait for me. If you said you have so many things to run after for, then that concludes I am not part of that. Then go on and just live your own selfish and antagonistic life. You will die unhappy. Let's see if you find meaning along the way.
I had lived a life like that and so I know how it feels. I felt like a man of the Earth, not needing anyone, not knowing anyone else, but life was just about achieving and working. But I realized how sad it was to live that life.
So now I've come to slow down and start appreciating things that God has given me. While you run after your endless dreams and wait for no one.
I have only one question for you when you get to the top:
WHO'S GOING TO TAKE YOUR PICTURE AND CONGRATULATE YOU FOR A JOB WELL DONE?
No one. No one will even know that you were there for you have no one to share it with and no one to witness that. What a sad life. Sure you're rich and all, but you're alone and lonely.
Come to think of it, you should be happy i am keeping you company.
crazy little thing called love.
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