Kaya Naman Pala...

I never liked any of Joel Lamangan's work. He is pretentious, over the top and just way to cliche as a movie director. I never liked any of the film he had directed so far, not the Flor Contemplacion movie, not Sidhi, not the Sarah Balabagan story nor Deathrow nor Filipinas.

His style is very predictable; it's something that would delight a Christopher De Leon or Maricel Soriano, but never a Jaclyn Jose. His work is just too over-acting for me. When it's feeling artsy, it will never run shy of showing you bathos and pathos scenes, so much it ought to be called the crying game. His brand of comedy is less credible - it's slapstick bordering on almost stupid. And his attempts to do indie and sexy, expect it to be sleazy and still a commercial sell-out. While I know he has a couple of awards(!) to boot that he is a good director, my question is: how credible are those award giving bodies, anyway?

This is not meant to bash Joel Lamangan. I have no personal grudge against him, heck I don't even know him. I'm just commenting based on what I feel and what I know. Last night, all of these made sense when I (carelessly) chose to watch Desperadas 2 as the other MMFF movie to watch for last year.

I watched the movie not knowing it was him who directed it. I had to endure almost 2 hours worth of boredom and tears. I wanted to step out of the cinema (which I did, actually - thrice - to "use the restroom") and ask for a refund from Greenbelt Cinemas, but I came with a friend who laughed at every single scene. This friend enjoyed, I didn't. Something must be wrong in this picture.

I could go on and list all of the problems I saw in the movie, but I will just go through the major ones:

1. Story line was not developed properly. There were 5 half sisters in the movie. Each sister had her own story to tell. In the end, nothing put those stories together aside from those casual beach scenes which looked like a cheap copy of Sex and the City. Maybe there was one: when Iza Calzado steals the yaya of Rufa Mae, the half siblings get into a hissy hating each other for pirating the maid insensitively. This goes on until the end until they reconciled. Shallow but this was an interesting twist. Ruffa's scenes could have been deleted and all and we will never notice it. Ogie's scenes were not integral. Wendell Ramos' role is just as well not important. They could have saved precious kinescoping hours if they removed those scenes. Marian's character didn't even mature. She was just there for her produce placements. Her character said she designed good clothes and uniforms, we never saw her in action. The only time we saw her doing "that work" we see clothes ripped from the net pa and she proudly claims that as her own.

Rufa Mae's story had the best potential. She was this sexologist who got involved with a maniacal congressman who did nothing but to spend taxpayer's and jueteng money on Rufa Mae. It's half good to see their love story develop and reach a point where she had to break up with over a juetengate expose. Though how the whole thing happened, it was never explained.  I also liked the sub plot on Post Partum, but it was never expounded. Too bad, that could have been a good selling point.

2. Linear Story Telling is not story telling. There are several major characters in the movie and they are all linked to each other. However, when the characters were developed they all developed separately. In the end, the movie had just too many subplots leading to none.

3. Since the movie had no real story they found a way to make the ending was just convenient. Since the characters developed separately, they somehow had to create an ending that will all put it together. They decided to use Ogie's character to tie everything together. He paid off Ruffa's debts to the people she scammed, Rufa Mae's hospitalization, Wendell's sex operation, Iza's failed suicide attempt and for Marian to design wedding gowns for the wedding. All had nothing to do really with Ogie's character Lugaluda. Gosh

4. Contrived Plot lines: There were several contrived if not downright incoherent and illogical scenes in the movie. If Ruffa was really intent in managing her finances, how was she even able to finance the distribution work she had in the movie? She had the money to buy all her expensive blings and bags, but not to pay off her victims? So with Rufa Mae, she had all the money to eat at hotels and buy Hermes Birkin bags and LVs but not to pay for her hospital bills? Marian had a raging stalker but she never bothered to check how this guy tracks her? Congressman was not sly enough to get a cleaner plan to launder money when he is a gambling Lord and owns half of the country? C'mon!

5. The painful part was the fact that the whole movie was edited POORLY. There were scenes were the audio dubbing was just poor! There was a scene where Marian was supposed to be talking (it had audio) but her mouth was closed. There was a scene where Will was talking but no audio came out. There was a scene where Iza kept yapping but no audio came out. A lot scenes was edited carelessly that scenes literally jumped. The color grading was not consistent - therefore the kinescope output was just as bad. Product placements were not too subtle, it was very annoying. Why had taglines needed to be said?? And many others pa. But the most glaring of all, and yet something we all know, was Marian's poor English diction. I am really wondering why she was given speaking parts in English pa?

6. The display of branded luxury items were gross. Chanel and Chloe shades, Berkin Hermes, LV, Botega and Balenciaga bags and all those ex-deal with Ben Chan brands are just over. It's not right.

Rom Coms need not be like that. Cathy Molina and the other Star Cinema directors did very well producing good movies - movies that are generally good technically and story-wise. How come this movie still came out like this?

I am wondering now what the point of MMFF is really all about. If there're two winners here, that definitely isn't the audience - it's Star Cinema and Mother Lily. More Mother Lily in fact. Her outrageous, nonsensical films almost always make it to the filmfest. We're left grasping with good movies, and here she is producing movies below par. She instigates movies that are below average and an insult to the viewing public.

I came out of that movie house feeling bad. Sana talaga we come up with more movies that are better made and better thought, and not just movies that entertain us. Heck, I was not even entertained!

When I found out today that Joel Lamangan directed this movie, I only had one thought, Kaya Naman Pala.. si Joel pala. Next time talaga, read the poster first before deciding to watch a Regal Films movie. The combination of Joel and Lily is just too toxic for me.

Hey. If you are getting offended by what I wrote pardon me. This is just my opinion.

I am really hoping for the day when Pinoy Cinema becomes more consistent/