Dwarves and Giants

"Hire giants, not dwarves. We're not running a company of midgets here!"

-- David Ogilvy
Founder, Ogilvy Advertising

David Ogilvy said that we shouldn't hire people who are smaller than you; instead we should hire people who have the potential to be bigger than us - giants in the making. Afterall, why would we want to be in the company of small thinkers?

Until now I am struck by that line. How does it apply though to life? When we choose our friends, I think the same rule applies. We should look for friends who will make us better and smarter along the way. We shouldn't look for people who will only make us feel superior, rather someone who can challenge us to think bigger.

In choosing a lifelong partner, I think the same rule applies still. Get someone smarter, bigger and challenging. For me, someone who is smarter, ambitious, passionate and driven are key traits that will keep a relationship going. When there's no trust, fear and respect in a relationship, it's doomed to fail. Of course we know this.

Quite recently, I've received a bad news. Someone liked me alot, but that person felt I was too young. What was too young?

Quarterlife too old?

Factor in the personality, character, maturity and level of confidence of a person, is age really all that? What has one got to do to prove that age ain't nothing but a number? For someone like me, I fend off accusations as such as immaterial. But to people who are older, they feel it's too young. Dig deeper, it's an issue of trust, by and at large.

Sure, I do not dispute that. What I dispute though is that no matter how you prove that you are dependable and trust worthy, insecure people will never believe you that you can reciprocate it. How can one say that when they haven't even tried it. Their answer? "I've been 25 once. I know how it feels." Missing the obvious- YOU've been 25 once. That was you. Not me.

There I was saying, "You've got to give me a chance!" But the other person says no. That's not being skeptical, that's being paranoid. It's not that that person cannot trust me. That person ultimately cannot trust itself. Imagine at 37, one expects you to think beyond that. But no, it's a trap that the person tightly guards.

It's not you, it's me

Probably the most used and most abused words ever, but this is true. It really is the other person, who cannot trust, learn to let go and give in. Why can't there be a change of perspective? Why does it always have to be on the terms and condition of the other person?

Along the way I realized, that person has been playing that game too long. It's always about the other person. What the other person likes, dislikes, the attitude and the level of maturity that that person has. It was never open for discussion. There was no room for discussion of agreement, always an imposition. To cap it, take it or leave it.

If you watched the movie the HOLIDAY, they've got the insight right. Despite the fact that ytou recognize the mistakes of the other person, once that other person coos up to you, suddenly everything is just normal and right. Thing is, this is love. You learn to accept the faults, and give in. However, when you tend to impose on everything, it's not love. It's dictatorship. Why can't it be a discussion?

Bottomline

What i am saying is loving is learning to trust someone and give chances. It's not prejudiced. It shouldn't be. Career the other person said was important to me. That person decided it for me. Never did I mention that. A million times did I say in fact, "I am going to make it work!" What part of that line was unclear, I wonder?

In effect, was that other person just looking for a dwarf that person can boss around? Was that person just looking for a dummy that that person can easily control?
I want to believe the answer is no. I want to believe that that person is genuinely interested and respectful and was never prejudiced.

I was trying to be a giant amidst it all but i guess it's not what that person was looking for. In effect, that person thought more of himself/herself more than thinking about us.

"It's me, not you." that person said.

Yes, it's always been about you.

Damn.